appreciations, fears, anticipation...
I just made my first Gift and I'm writing with my first "new update"! This section might be a good space for us to update each other when we contribute Gifts or when we Gift those Gifts out in the world.... to share "who", and why and what and how we felt along the way. I look forward to working with Saad, Lorrie, Don, Birju, others... any of you who were actively expressing interest in how we "productize" (as Saad said), this platform so that we are prompted to notice how we feel as we go....so we can learn from that and from each other.
So today - this is what I am feeling:
First, I cannot believe the explicit goals here for our 3rd Drawer ….in the words of you all... to recognize and amplify people who "help us to turn toward each other", "remind us of the best of our humanity in our own communities", and "help us to remember our sacred nature".
But even more, as I sit here putting my dollars in to this collective platform, I feel something else arising. I am really feeling what a big deal it is to me that this group will take the money I had previously thought of as mine, and use it toward those pursuits. It turns out, that is actually really something to me. I am feeling that it will be used more creatively than I could use it alone. That better things might happen than if it was just me. That I am excited to see what you do and to learn why and how that made you feel - and to see what I feel. I feel like this is going to build something in me and energetically between us. My heart already feels some stirring as I contemplate this all and I think that I hadn't thought I'd be feeling any of that, and it feels good.
I also somehow cannot believe I'm with a group of humans who said things like: "we want to cultivate our own consciousness through this as an emergent group-wisdom-process of collective trust", "learn how to operate more communally with resources", "transform a sense of scarcity to a sense of abundance" and "support each other in starting labor of love projects". These are all words from you...and I just... again am appreciative of this group.
Second, I have not found the creation of this collective platform intuitive so far and I feel nervous/bad that it has taken a while. Birju and Ari offered to help but I couldn't accept at first b/c I had to open an associated bank account and a stripe (credit card interface) account and a paypal account and set this platform up...and make sure they all link. So I think I have done that but I have to admit that this is just not how my brain works and now that the core is set up - there may still be some tweaks. I feel some nervousness that I have slowed our process down. But I hope too that this will be a useful longer term solution for us.
Finally - I'm feeling anticipatory excitement about beginning with the 3rd Drawer process in earnest. We have a call next week and I feel excited. Excited too about our time in Louisville....and mostly excited about what is trying to come through this group.
In service to that which is coming through all of us and together,